Influence thru Leadership
Leadership is having the ability to influence or direct someone while focusing on the big picture, vision or idea. Everyone has been a leader at some point in their life. It’s important to remember that leaders are not born, they are made.
In a world overflowing with corporate scandals, companies closing and the constant looming threat of downsizing, we are a culture starved for something reliable we can count on.
Integrity, honesty and trust are the qualities we are all looking for in our leaders. We can cultivate our skills through our professional relationships. The success of our relationships will have a major influence on the quality of work lives, accomplishments or failings. This is why paying attention to your relationships is key in cultivating influence and loyalty, which is the backbone of real leadership.
When you think about the great leaders in recent history, who comes to mind? Perhaps leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa or Abraham Lincoln are on your list. You may also have a list that includes your mother or father, that first grade teacher or the bus driver that picked you up every Sunday so you could attend vacation bible school.
What do these people have in common? They operated with a servant style of leadership.
According to the website www.greenleaf.org, the phrase “servant leadership” was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in “The Servant as Leader,” an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, he said: “The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.
That person is sharply different from one who is leader first; perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.”
Don’t fret, you can choose to adopt this philosophy regardless of your current situation. Greenleaf explains that it begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve. I believe that we can create the desire to serve and adopt this concept at any time in our life. Life is comprised of seasons. Don’t feel like it’s too late. It’s never too late.
Let’s talk about some ways you can build your leadership muscles by nurturing the relationships in your life both professionally and personally. In the society of “me first” attitudes, consider the following to develop a servant leadership style. You will find your relationships beginning to change right before your eyes.
Show empathy. Empathy is being able to understand where a person is coming from. You can see the person behind the emotions. Ask them about their day or how things are going with their families. Empathy doesn’t judge another person but accepts them for who they are. Remember people don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.
Communicate often. It is easier these days to lose touch. But there is also a variety of ways to let someone know they are special in your life: cell phone, telephone, letter, texting and e-mail besides face to face meetings. Let the special people in your life know you haven’t forgotten about them even though the years and miles keep you apart.
Invest in someone’s future. It could be as simple offering a resource to fit a need. When you share your knowledge with friends and family, you are equipping them with a new skill that they can use in their life. You are investing in them – making a deposit.
Spend time with others. We all need human contact. Going out with friends or inviting people over to your home can lead to outbursts of laughter, reminiscing about old memories and new memories created.
Don’t neglect people for things. Relationships are always going to be the more valuable of the two.
Know yourself. It is hard to be a part of a group if you don’t know what you bring to it. Each of us has unique talents and skills. Sharing these traits in common with another begins a relationship. When you are secure in who you are and how you feel, it is easier to share a part of yourself with others.
Define your commitment. Relationships take time and commitment. Are you willing to invest that time? When you put in the time, you notice things about others such as when they are not well or need your help. These non-verbal cues develop over time. If you want friends you have to learn to be one first.
When you make a difference with your life, you will help others make a difference in theirs. This is another example of how the Circle of Relationships as relates to the Circle of Life.
Invest in developing your leadership finesse at events like the May 7 Chick-fil-A Leadercast hosted by the Greater Birmingham Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development. It will be simulcast at the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex.
Dallas Teague Snider is president-elect of the Greater Birmingham Chapter of ASTD and founder of Make Your Best Impression. She can be reached at dallas.teague@leadreferrals.com, www.makeyourbestimpression.com or (877) 681-3111.
